Reaching a Moment of Willingness in Seeking Recovery
Table of Contents
- Reaching a Moment of Willingness in Seeking Recovery
- How Addiction Began in My Life
- Living a Rock Bottom Existence
- From Desperation To A Sober Life
- The Gift Of Desperation Can Be Given To All
- Take the Gift of Desperation and Turn it Into Recovery!
- Medically Reviewed By
I hit rock bottom long before I finally took that giant step toward seeking help, thanks largely to the ‘gift of desperation.’ I didn’t want to live anymore. The drugs used to take away or dull my mind enough for me to forget and get away from my problems. Eventually, that stopped working.
After a while, I was only using drugs to prevent myself from getting sick. Life became more and more miserable on an almost daily basis.
Being a heroin addict, you’re on the clock all day and night. Your entire life revolves around not going through withdrawal. It’s a desperation that I wouldn’t wish on my friend or own worst enemy. For many suffering from addiction, you are trying to outrun some kind of pain or loneliness. I didn’t realize it at the time, but when I got sick and tired of being sick and tired, it was a true gift.
I had heard good things about Find Addiction Rehabs from former addicts, so I decided to give it a shot when I found that I couldn’t live the addict life any longer. Not all addicts reach that point of desperation, but for those who do, it’s a lifesaver. It can be the greatest gift you’ve ever been given.
Please keep reading this blog if any of this sounds familiar to you, whether you believe there is hope or not, support can be found, and you just have to stay alive long enough to get a real chance!
How Addiction Began in My Life
I started drinking in high school, but I didn’t really begin struggling with substance abuse until I first tried opiates. I grew up in a fairly unhealthy environment with an alcoholic mother and an absent father, so I didn’t have the best foundation.
Still, even if I had been raised in a loving home and community, around God-fearing parents who wanted the best for me, I am not sure I would have been able to resist the feeling of opiates and their warm embrace.
When I was beginning to dabble in drug and alcohol use, I didn’t have anyone to warn me of the consequences. Even if I did, I probably wouldn’t have listened. Not only did I not have supportive parents, but the friends I was hanging around with were horrible influences.
Losing Control Over the Substances I Loved
I lost control of my substance abuse when I first tried heroin. Things got really dark for me after that. With no support system, I fell further and further into the world of heroin. I ended up being homeless and begging for money. My despair at this point knew no bounds.
Being a heroin addict is like being a zombie. There was no life left in my eyes. Following multiple stints in jail, several overdoses, and a complete loss of hope, the idea of being sober seemed unreachable. At this point in my desperation, I was completely powerless. I needed to get to this point before sobriety seemed like something I could attempt, much less have it stick.
Living a Rock Bottom Existence
For the entire time that I was an addict, I didn’t want to live a sober life. When you are at rock bottom long enough to want to die almost every day, just being desperate all the time is exhausting. At this point, I was forced to recognize what bad shape I was in.
I never had a fear of death until I started losing people around me. The addicts that I associated with began dropping like flies. Watching them lose their lives made me realize that I wanted to get control of mine. I felt for a long time that what happened in my life didn’t matter, but I finally had a moment of clarity. I realized that it was possible for me to fix my life and do something good with it.
When You Recognize Your Sickness
The gift of desperation is one of the big points that is spoken about in recovery. The gift of failure or desperation is defined as the moment when you lose hope in drugs or alcohol. I knew that my heroin addiction was leading me to an early grave, but I denied that fact for as long as I could.
My addiction had turned me into a desperate person. I was always desperate for more heroin, and when I got it, that desperation was only tempered momentarily. Even when I would shoot up, I knew I couldn’t be relaxed for too long. I had to make sure that I had enough for my next fix or make sure that I could go somewhere and get more. It was an exhausting life.
From Desperation To A Sober Life
When I sought help through Find Addiction Rehabs, I was in very bad shape. When I entered rehab and had to finally begin to work through my issues without drugs and alcohol, I was angry, sad, and depressed.
However, my feelings of desperation began to soften. For once in my life, I finally felt that I was moving forward in some form or way.
Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired
The gift of desperation can be a springboard to a successful recovery. When you finally get it through your head and decide that drugs and alcohol won’t serve you any longer, it’s a little easier to have faith in the recovery process.
Building up a strong support system goes a long way as well, or at least it does for me, I have to make that clear. I never could have done it on my own, without a team of people who believe in me, rooting me on as part of the recovery community I once shunned when I was out there, ripping and running each day just to stay well.
How to Stay Sober: 24 Hours at a Time
I view my sobriety as a second chance at life. The opportunity to live life to the fullest is something I don’t take for granted. I don’t want to go back to my old ways, but I know that I have a disease. Even if I’m doing good in my recovery, I know that I can slip up and go right back to where I was before.
Today, I know I won’t use it. I don’t know about tomorrow or any day after that. I decided a long time ago to surrender myself to the path of recovery and recognize that I am powerless against my addiction. That doesn’t mean I’m going to fail, either. You can overthink anything, and recovery is one of those things that you can drive yourself crazy about.
The Gift Of Desperation Can Be Given To All
I believe that the gift of desperation is one that can be given to all who are suffering from addiction. I experienced it myself, and I was at a point where I never imagined getting clean would ever happen to me. The information is all out there, and there are so many wonderful people in recovery who are willing to lend a helping hand.
I am the best version of myself: alive today because I used Find Addiction Rehabs and got sober. Nothing is more important to me than my sobriety, and it’s a gift I try to give to others if possible. I don’t overstep my boundaries, but I make it a point to take people under my wing and give them the gift that I was given.
Take the Gift of Desperation and Turn it Into Recovery!
If you read something that sounds like your story in my words or have a loved one who may be going through something similar, please take the darkness and turn it into an opportunity for hope.
Reach out for a confidential call with Find Addiction Rehabs today, and get options for treatment and life beyond your wildest imagination. I know I’m glad I reached out, and I bet you will be as well!
Rachael Goldstein has been a freelance writer for more than 10 years, having written for Find Addiction Rehabs for the past two years. She specializes in writing about the law, mental health, psychology, and addiction. She is the owner and author of the website www.addicted-to-sobriety.com. Rachael is also a licensed attorney in the state of Pennsylvania.