Seizing the Chance for Recovery After a Coke Binge
Table of Contents
- Seizing the Chance for Recovery After a Coke Binge
- From Cocaine Abuse to Cocaine Addiction
- The Effects of A Cocaine Binge
- When Cocaine Addiction Goes Too Far
- Avoiding Relapse on the Devil’s Dandruff
- Get Lasting Recovery from Substance Abuse
- Reach Out for Help Before the Next Cocaine Binge
- Medically Reviewed By
My life spiraled out of control once I fell into cocaine addiction. I had abused alcohol and dabbled with other drugs, but cocaine was all-consuming. I tried rehab a few times, but I didn’t really want to quit. I would tell people that I want to use cocaine until I die.
When a four-day cocaine binge almost killed me, I finally got so low I wanted help. I got scared of dying, plain and simple. I hoped that there was still a chance for me to get clean, and I found it, just like you can if you or a loved one are struggling with coke.
I reached out to Find Addiction Rehabs to try and get help, and luckily for me, I was given a second chance at life. My cocaine usage was off the charts, and I really didn’t know if even the best rehab on the planet would help me. The difference this time is that I actually did want to get clean.
Keep reading to learn more about my experiences, and how the process of reaching out can work to get support and rehab options for you as well!
Do You Really Want to Get Clean?
No matter how bad your drug addiction is, if you want to get clean badly enough, sobriety is possible for anybody. I was going from one cocaine binge to another. Smoking crack cocaine, snorting powder cocaine, and even injecting it on occasion. My cocaine use was destroying my life. I lost my job and my wife, yet I still went on my merry way and didn’t want to quit.
How bad do you want to get clean? Many addicts go to rehab for other reasons than getting clean. Some want to try and get custody of their children back. Some want to save a relationship. Nothing will work unless you actually want to get clean for yourself. My addiction was out of control, but I got clean because I wanted it bad enough. If you want it bad enough, keep reading to find out how you can want it for yourself.
From Cocaine Abuse to Cocaine Addiction
Cocaine is a party drug for a lot of people. It’s something that you do with your friends going out clubbing or when you’re out on the town. This is what I thought when I first started using it. We all have different drugs of choice, and for people who choose cocaine as their drug, it immediately goes from being a party drug to an all-day, all-night situation. There’s nothing social about it once you become addicted.
My cocaine addiction began as soon as I started dabbling with cocaine. I would go on a cocaine binge and nearly overdose and then have a horrible crash that would last at least two days. The highest highs and lowest lows of cocaine abuse are brutal and cannot be understated. You feel on top of the world and then you feel like you want to die when you come down.
The Erratic Behavior of Cocaine Users Like Me
My behavior changed drastically when I became a cocaine addict. I was a happy-go-lucky person on cocaine, but if I didn’t have it, the cocaine withdrawal would turn me into a monster. I suffered from seizures, and drastic mood swings and could become aggressive very easily. My family had no idea what was happening at first. They thought I may have developed some kind of mental illness.
Substance abuse changes you once the drug becomes your number one priority. Cocaine users can’t exist in everyday life without getting their fix and also knowing where the next one is coming from. If you can’t find any cocaine and you begin to experience the effects of cocaine withdrawal, nothing else can fill that void. It’s a living hell that I wouldn’t wish on anyone.
The Effects of A Cocaine Binge
Cocaine produces an intense sense of euphoria and you’ll do anything to keep that feeling going. Once it goes away, the crash is the exact opposite. There aren’t many physical symptoms of cocaine withdrawal, but the mental aspect is crushing.
Repeated cocaine use causes a lot of physical harm including increased blood pressure and heart rate. There were times I thought my heart was going to burst out of my chest. You are at a higher risk of cardiac arrest and may develop other heart problems should you abuse cocaine for long enough.
Cocaine-related deaths have also risen due to the surge of fentanyl, which luckily was not everywhere until after I got clean. I am pretty sure with all the overdose deaths occurring, I would have been a statistic rather than a ‘sober success story’ (the quotes show you I still am not quite comfortable enough to speak of myself that way, though many in my family have shared this sentiment).
Psychological Symptoms of A Cocaine Comedown
When I would come down from a cocaine binge, I would become agitated, depressed, and extremely fatigued. I’ve never felt worse anxiety in my life. Because cocaine is a powerful stimulant, it can make you stay awake much longer than you should.
When you stay awake for two days, you begin to feel like you are going crazy. You begin to have hallucinations, intense ones that, in my case caused me to both hallucinate and hear voices. The paranoia is intense. These adverse effects and chronic toxicity of cocaine in my body drove me absolutely mad. I would pray for sudden death as a form of relief. It got that bad.
I would suffer from intense cravings, and insomnia and nothing could take my mind off of getting more cocaine. When you are in this cycle, you’re unable to function on any normal level. Everyone in your life notices the change. Even if your loved ones know nothing about cocaine addiction, they can see the signs very clearly.
When Cocaine Addiction Goes Too Far
When my family walked out on me, my first thought was now I could use as much cocaine as I wanted and not have to worry about being caught. I went on a two-day cocaine binge, and when I came down, the reality of my situation finally hit me. I didn’t care about anything but this white powder. This stuff was killing me, but I was in love with it.
I went through the worst comedown and depression that I have ever gone through. It was all mostly emotional. I realized that I had ruined my life and pushed everyone away. I called my wife dozens of times that day trying to apologize. Ultimately, I realized that I needed to give my family space and begin the process the fix my addiction.
When you finally decide to seek treatment, every step of the process can be nerve-wracking and overwhelming. There is so much to fix, and it seems impossible once you begin to understand just how intense the process is. The best thing you can do is take it one step at a time. I got in touch with Find Addiction Rehabs and began to look around for a rehabilitation center that would work for my addiction.
Once I entered treatment, I knew it was going to be a long haul. I needed to take it seriously. There’s a high potential that you won’t make it through the process if you aren’t fully prepared for what’s to come. I knew it would be uncomfortable. I knew I was going to have to face some of the issues I had run from for all these years. I knew I was going to have to take a look at myself and be honest about the damage I had caused.
Drug Abuse and The Mind
The mental game of drug abuse is the hardest part to get through. You can get the drugs out of your body, but getting them out of your mind is a whole other situation. I required intense therapy and needed to keep myself busy in rehab. You can sit and stare at the walls all you want, but you’re not in prison. You’re there to actively work through your addiction.
I participated as much as I could in rehab. I talked to others as much as possible. I talked until my voice was sore. I spilled my guts during my time in rehab, and it was a transformative experience. I had never really opened up to anybody about my feelings and my problems. In rehab, I regurgitated years of baggage. It felt incredible to get it all off of my chest.
Avoiding Relapse on the Devil’s Dandruff
In severe cases of cocaine addiction, relapse is always right there under the surface. You can go for long periods of sobriety and slip up easily. I’ve met people in recovery who had years of sobriety and relapse. It’s possible for anybody. The best way to avoid relapse is to have a structured routine and keep on top of your recovery. Go to meetings regularly.
It’s important to not give in to your reactive mind. We all react impulsively sometimes. We think of saying or doing something dumb at the moment, usually to get some form of instant gratification. You can train yourself to not fall into this pattern and begin to adopt a form of ‘slow thinking.’
We all have dark thoughts and feelings from time to time, but controlling the way you respond to them is the trick. It doesn’t mean you don’t have mental alertness, but rather that you mindfully observe your life and surroundings and react appropriately rather than instinctively. It’s a skill I work on each day.
Common Signs Your Recovery Is In Jeopardy
If you fall into a pattern of dark thinking and reacting negatively to everything, you are putting your sobriety at risk. These moments can last for a short period, but all it takes is one weak moment to fall back into your old ways. It can be exhausting at times to constantly keep your mind sharp and catch yourself when you are in these moments, but it is possible if you have the right attitude.
If you stop going to meetings or talking about your feelings, this can be troublesome as well. I go to several meetings a week even if I feel in tip-top shape. I might think I don’t need it, but there might be someone at one of these meetings that I can help. It isn’t always about me. Helping others is a huge part of the recovery process.
Get Lasting Recovery from Substance Abuse
One of the most important aspects of my recovery is telling my story to others. No one plans to fall into a drug addiction. It sneaks up on you. There is no rhyme or reason for the way that substance abuse recovery works. You can have one really great day and then one really bad day right after. There is a lot of meaning behind the phrase “one day at a time.”
You can’t prevent bad things from happening in life. Life finds a way to test all of us at various points. How we respond to those tests makes all the difference. If you do find yourself in a situation where you are going down a bad road, there are plenty of ways to get help. Speaking with others in recovery is always a good place to start. It can be the difference between lasting recovery and relapse.
Reach Out for Help Before the Next Cocaine Binge
If any of this sounds familiar to you or in the life of someone you care about, help can be found. The supervised detox and treatment center I chose with the help of Find Addiction Rehabs was literally lifesaving.
Their staff were clearly experienced in recovery and helped me find options that made going to treatment cost-effective, as well as matched me with a facility that could help with my mental health issues.
If your last cocaine binge has you wondering about whether a better way of life is out there, do not despair. Pick up the phone and give Find Addiction Rehabs a call, it’s one call I wish I had made sooner!
Bryan was born in Philadelphia and remains an ardent supporter of Philadelphia sports. After attending FSU and FAU where he majored in writing, Bryan ventured out to follow in the footsteps of his idols, running straight into drug addiction. After being arrested by the President’s Secret Service, Bryan finally started to rebuild his life and beat that monkey off of his back through writing, playing music, and studying Buddhist philosophy.
Despite still having the occasional struggles with mental health, Bryan strives to be a little bit better a person each day. With the support and love from a loyal family, and kind-hearted and generous friends, Bryan tries to help people vanquish their own personal demons as he did and bring more love and beauty into a pessimistic world.