One Mother’s Recovery From Addiction
Before began my drug recovery, I used to drop by the house and take presents to my daughter. I’d leave once again when I ran out of my dope. I always remember that as I walked out the door, my daughter chased me crying and begging, “Mama, Mama!” However, even that wasn’t powerful enough to stop me. I’d dash out the door as quickly as I could as because I despised myself for being very selfish. I repeatedly chose drugs over motherhood. I would slouch down in the hallway on the other side of the apartment door crying. I would hear her small voice. She was just a few feet away crying out for me. Although she wasn’t but a few feet from me, it could have been miles.
She was just a few feet away crying out for me. Although she wasn’t but a few feet from me, it could have been miles.
I listened to her grandparents trying to soothe her and wipe away her tears. It hurt. However, I knew I was not capable of caring for her at that time. I carried her photograph in my backpack out there on the streets. In fact, my backpack held all the things I needed for survival: a bar of soap, my daughter’s photo, a toothbrush, and at least 100 syringes; I made sure I’d never run out.
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Life After Addiction
Five months later, and what a world of difference! I’m clean and sober. I now work full-time and resumed responsibility for my daughter. I’m focused on rebuilding a new, sober life and reconnecting with my child.
My daughter is my angel and one true blessing. I love her more each and every day. I sometimes would rather stay home and play with her instead of going to work, but I leave the house. I do it for her.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I’m saving for a vacation to Disneyland, and I plan to build up a big, fat college fund. I don’t want her to face financial struggles when she’s off at college. That’s made possible only through my drug recovery.
I want to be a better person, woman, and mother. Because of her.
I know that many people judge me and think of me as a piece of shit. What matters today is that I am finding my way out of addiction. I no longer choose to get high, I choose my daughter. I still believe that my reality is getting better every day because of her.
My journey towards a sober lifestyle has only just begun. Are you ready to start yours?