Rationalizations and Denials Used to Avoid Getting Help
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As many of us know, whether we are addicted or we have a loved one who is addicted, it is nearly impossible to CONVINCE someone to stop using. The only thing that works is desperation. However, before that glorious day comes, there are countless excuses addicts give to not get sober and stay active in addiction.
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Frothy Emotional Appeal Seldom Works
I myself have heard my mother beg and plead for me to get my act together before I decided enough was enough. This was not a one-time thing. She even offered to send me away to travel just to get away from what I was doing (bless her heart she didn’t know any better). But when the time came, I always thought of some made-up reason not to go or not to change.
Looking back, I can see that I had a few excuses I used not to get sober, these are common excuses addicts largely give as well.
- Firstly, I never knew that I was an alcoholic/addict. I still always thought I had it under control.
- I was uneducated about 12-step programs and wanted nothing to do with, what I thought was a religious cult.
- I had a dog I didn’t want to leave behind.
- I convinced myself that I needed to stay at my part-time waitressing job because they “needed me”.
- I simply hadn’t had enough yet.
That last one is the kicker for many of us alcoholics and addicts. Our loved ones can beg and plead to no end, they can abandon us, and we can be living on the streets, but until WE have had enough, we will never change. This is what is often referred to as the insanity of addiction.
Now some of us come into the rooms by demand of the justice system. I have found that many of the people in this category can have a hard time staying sober after their probation ends or after they get out of treatment. The reason being, they were forced into it. Many of them hadn’t hit their bottom yet, so they go back out to find it. However, there are always exceptions to the rule.
I have met many women in the rooms who have a hard time with the idea of abandoning their children and families. This is especially true for single mothers who can’t easily access long-term child care. This is a pretty valid concern, however, there have been a lot of treatment centers made available for women and their children.
More Common Excuses Addicts Give
I don’t have the time
I grew up in a small, blue-collar New England town. All of my friends either worked for their father’s trade company or worked for the city doing labor work. The only thing there really was to do was the party after work. Some of them were definitely addicts like me though, and whenever they expressed wanting to quit, they would follow up with, “I don’t have time to be sick and miss work”.
Although this obviously reflects our society and the health care system, it is truly a common theme for people to fear leaving home to get help because they simply don’t have the time or the resources. Who will pay the bills while they are gone? Will they be able to keep their job? The answers to these questions can vary from person to person, however, it always seems to figure itself out if the person is truly ready to get sober.
“I’m not that bad”
This was my addict alma mater. Lucky for me, as my addictions grew worse, my circle of friends began to darken as well. I was slowly surrounded by people much older than me, who had been partying for decades. It was easy for me to think I wasn’t a full-blown addict when I compared myself to them. Until I started to notice that after a while, they would put down the bottle or pipe to go home and sleep, something I could never do. They were able to stop for a few days and take care of day to day responsibilities, something I could never do.
I discovered I was actually worse than the people I compared myself to, and I was rapidly falling further into my addiction. It took me a while after this to finally get help.
Excuses Addicts Give: The Final Straw
For me, the moment I hit bottom, I knew it. I stopped the car I was driving in the middle of the road, got down on my knees, and begged God for help. Later that day, my mother found me at a gas station and took me to detox.
Many of us don’t trust other people enough to even want their help. We have been robbed, lied to, cheated, abandoned, and broken. We continue our fight because it’s the only thing we know how to do.
When the beautiful day comes when an addict/alcoholic hit their bottom, their whole world will change. They will no longer be able to make excuses to not get sober. They will finally know, without question, that they have come to a point where they can either change their ways and live a new life or die.
And that, in all of its simplicity, is the only ultimatum for us addicts and alcoholics.
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Freedom From Addiction: Found Here
If you have found yourself suffering from addiction, you are not alone! If you are ready to change your life and live free of addiction, then Find Addiction Rehabs can help. We give you the jump start to recovery by matching you to the care you need, when and where you need it.
Reach out now for a confidential consultation and let us help you stop making excuses, or overcome those of your loved one. Help is here, and waiting.
Bryan was born in Philadelphia and remains an ardent supporter of Philadelphia sports. After attending FSU and FAU where he majored in writing, Bryan ventured out to follow in the footsteps of his idols, running straight into drug addiction. After being arrested by the President’s Secret Service, Bryan finally started to rebuild his life and beat that monkey off of his back through writing, playing music, and studying Buddhist philosophy.
Despite still having the occasional struggles with mental health, Bryan strives to be a little bit better a person each day. With the support and love from a loyal family, and kind-hearted and generous friends, Bryan tries to help people vanquish their own personal demons as he did and bring more love and beauty into a pessimistic world.