How To Stop Beating Yourself Up

How To Stop Beating Yourself Up

While every recovering addict has their own unique experiences and struggles, we do share a few common traits and habits. You will hear those habits talked about at meetings and over coffee. One thing that many in recovery can relate to is the concept of “beating yourself up.”

This happens when you continuously punish yourself for either real or perceived faults, mistakes, or wrongdoings. While this self-hatred and critical voice often come as second nature for many recovering individuals, this negative cycle is incredibly harmful to your recovery efforts.

If you are wondering how to stop beating yourself up, you have come to the right place. Keep reading to learn more about how you can overcome your negative inner voice, and get the help you need to maintain your sobriety with Rehabs Of Armerica.

Why Do People Beat Themselves Up In Recovery?

Sometimes, you feel guilt or shame for mistakes you made while using. Other times, for things you feel you have or haven’t done in recovery. Perhaps it’s nothing at all. Perhaps you feel bad about yourself in general, and so you take every opportunity to berate yourself or put yourself down, either publicly or privately.

There are many reasons why people beat themselves up in addiction recovery. Understanding where these negative thoughts and feelings come from can help you to stop this toxic relationship with yourself, and start moving towards a healthier mindset.

Some of the main reasons why people beat themselves up in recovery include:

• Guilt: People who are struggling with addiction often feel guilty about the things they have done while they were using drugs or alcohol. They may feel like they have let themselves, their loved ones, and their community down. This guilt can lead to self-blame and self-punishment.
• Shame: People who are addicted to drugs or alcohol often feel ashamed of their addiction. They may feel like they are weak or worthless. This shame can also lead to self-blame and self-punishment.
• Fear: People who are in recovery often fear relapse. They may worry that they will never be able to stay sober and will eventually make the same mistake of experimenting with an addictive substance. This fear can lead to self-doubt and self-criticism.
• Lack of self-compassion: People who are struggling with addiction often have low self-esteem. They may not believe that they deserve to be happy or healthy. This lack of self-compassion can make it difficult to forgive themselves for their past mistakes and to move forward in recovery.

It is important to remember that addiction is a disease. It is not a moral failing. If you are struggling with addiction, this does not make you weak or worthless. You are simply sick. With the right treatment and support, you can recover from addiction and live a healthy, productive life.

3 Ways You Might Beat Yourself Up to Avoid

There are several ways that someone might beat themselves up. Constantly putting yourself down can seem harmless, as it’s just words and thoughts. But the reality is that this level of self-deprecation can be incredibly harmful to your physical and emotional well-being.

It is likely that you have many great qualities that are masked by your addictive habits. Getting the right treatment and support can help you become a better person and develop healthier self-care. If you are struggling with negative thoughts about yourself, it is important to remember that you are not the only person who has a habit of being self-critical.

There are ways to focus less on these hurtful thoughts and gain confidence in yourself. Recognizing the ways in which you beat yourself up will be the first step in your ability to become the best version of yourself.

Some of the most common examples of beating yourself up include:

1) Rehashing the Same Old Mistakes

You constantly relive and dwell on past experiences where you made a bad choice or participated in negative behaviors. You can’t stop and it borders on obsession. You can’t let the mistake go. You relive it, feeling fresh shame and regret each time. You go over all the ways in which you failed.

In a sense, this habit can almost take over your life and keep you from moving on. It’s hard to realize that you are a human being that is allowed to make poor decisions and learn from them. But the reality is that you are not a bad person because of your addiction.

2) Beating Yourself Up with Negative Self-Talk

Negative self-talk is poisonous, and it tends to feed itself. The more you do it, the worse you feel. “I’m so stupid”, “I never do anything right”, “No one could love me”, “All I do is make everything worse.” The list could go on.

The worse you feel, the more likely you are to reinforce these negative messages. It can be hard to replace these painful thoughts with kind words, but with practice and support, it is possible to change a negative thought to one that is self-affirming and positive.

3) Beating Yourself Up by Punishing Yourself

You aren’t taking care of yourself. You aren’t eating or sleeping right. You are engaging in unhealthy behaviors. You aren’t doing things that make you feel good. This usually accompanies other forms, such as negative self-talk or rehashing.

These behaviors do not do anything remotely productive for you. In fact, it only makes things worse. If it worked, most of us wouldn’t have to go to meetings. No matter what you’ve done, there is no honor in this behavior.

There is no solution here. It rarely results in stopping the behavior that you’re beating yourself up for, in fact, it may even cause more of the same behavior.

When we engage in negative self-talk or rehash our mistakes, we may also become less tolerant of the shortcomings of others. We may grow weary of beating ourselves up and may lash out at others instead.

When you stop the negative self-talk, you will find that you have more energy, people want to be around you more, and you may find that you naturally let go of some of those behaviors that are causing you to feel you need to punish yourself.

You will likely also feel less judgmental of others. You will want to spend time with other people and finally start to imagine what a life of self-love and respect can feel like.

Beating Yourself Up Can Cause You To Relapse

One of the biggest risks that comes with beating yourself up is the risk of relapse. Mistakes happen, but relapse can have devastating consequences, putting you back in the same situation of addiction that you were in weeks, months, or even years before.

Recovering from an addiction can be incredibly hard, and speaking to yourself with a negative voice can make it difficult to continue making a conscious effort to be the best version of yourself.

It is easy to get consumed in negative thinking and harmful self-talk. As long as you are indulging in this guilt and shame-based behavior you are nurturing your addiction. So how do you stop comparing yourself to your past and keep moving forward in your recovery?

How To Stop Beating Yourself Up: 5 Actionable Ways

Beating yourself up is a habit. Whatever the reason is that you started doing it, you’ve kept doing it. It can be somewhat of an addiction in itself, actually. When we rehash and flood ourselves with guilt, shame, and self-loathing, we actually release chemicals in the brain similar to those that are released when we use them.

They don’t feel good, but they are still addictive. Being aware of the problem is a good start. Notice the way you speak to yourself. Notice your thinking when you are stressed, or when there is conflict in your life.

Shed light on how you are making your life harder with the way you speak to and think about yourself. How quick are you to talk to yourself negatively? What messages are you giving yourself? Is that the way you would talk to a good friend?

Asking yourself these questions and answering them honestly is a good way to gauge the quality of your self-talk. If it’s not something you would say to someone you love and respect, then it’s not something you should be telling yourself.

1) Practice Positive Self-Talk

When you start paying attention to the way you talk to yourself, you may find that you are spending your days flooding your own brain with bad messages. Remember, beating yourself up does not improve your behavior or keep you from making the same mistakes. It only makes things worse.

When you notice that you are engaging in negative self-talk, it’s time to replace that message with something more positive. Say something nice to yourself. Acknowledge what you are doing right. If you make a mistake, certainly acknowledge it. Talk to your sponsor or support group about it. Make amends and do what you can to rectify things. Then move on.

2) Practice Self-Compassion and Care

Self-acceptance and compassion are just some of the most important practices you can implement in your recovery process. This involves being kind and understanding to yourself, just as you would be to a friend or family member.

It is about accepting your own flaws and mistakes, and recognizing that you are not alone in your struggles. When you practice self-compassion and view yourself and life in a positive way, you are more likely to better handle stress, bounce back from setbacks, and experience greater well-being.

Some ways you can better practice self-compassion include:

• Be kind to yourself: When you make a mistake, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, try to be understanding and forgiving. Remind yourself that everyone is capable of making mistakes and that it doesn’t mean you’re a bad person.
• Accept your flaws: Everyone has flaws and makes mistakes. Don’t try to be perfect. Instead, accept your flaws just as you would your positive attributes and learn to love yourself for who you are.
• Be mindful of your thoughts and feelings: When you’re feeling down, take a moment to pause and reflect on your thoughts and feelings. Try to see them from a compassionate perspective.
• Reach out for support: If you’re struggling, don’t be afraid to reach out for support, whether this be from your best friend, your family, or a professional. Talking to someone who cares about you can help you feel better and more supported.

Practicing self-compassion takes time and effort, but it is worth it. When you are kind and understanding to yourself, you are more likely to experience greater happiness, resilience, and well-being, and continue to act in your best interest.

3) Practice Self-Care

Self-care is the practice of taking an active role in protecting your own well-being and happiness, in particular during periods of stress. Self-care can include activities such as taking breaks, getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and spending time with loved ones.

There are many different ways to practice self-care, and what works for one person may not work for another. The important thing is to find what works for you and to make it a priority in your life.

4) Seek External Support

A support system is a group of people who can provide you with emotional, practical, and financial support when you need it most. They can be family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, or even strangers who have been through similar experiences.

When building a healthy support system, there are several things that you should consider and do, such as:

• Identify your needs: What kind of support do you need? Do you need someone to talk to? Do you need help with practical tasks? Do you need financial assistance? Once you know what you need, you can start to identify people who can provide that support.
• Reach out to people you know: Think about your family, friends, neighbors, colleagues, and other people in your life. Who are the people who make you feel good? Who are the people you can trust? Who are the people who are willing to help? Reach out to these people and let them know that you need their support.
• Get involved in your community: Volunteering is a great way to meet new people and build relationships. You can also join clubs or groups that interest you. This is a great way to meet people who share your interests and values.
• Seek professional help: If you are struggling to build a support system on your own, consider seeking professional help. A therapist can help you identify your needs and connect you with resources in your community.

Building a support system takes time and effort, but it is worth it. A strong support system can help you cope with stress, make better decisions, and achieve your goals.

5) Confront Your Inner-Critic

Confronting your inner critic can be a difficult but rewarding process. When you want to Identify your inner critic, there are a few things to consider. What does your inner critic sound like? What kind of things does it say to you? Once you can identify your inner critic, you can start to challenge its messages.

Challenging your critical self-voice can be difficult, but it is possible to re-write the way you speak to yourself. Consider the following questions when you realize your thoughts are taking a negative turn: Are the messages your inner critic is telling you true? Are they helpful?

If not, you can start to challenge them. For example, if your inner critic is telling you that you’re a failure, you can remind yourself of all the things you’ve accomplished. Challenging these self-thoughts and beliefs can be difficult, but it is possible. Reframing the way you see yourself can be one of the most important tools in your recovery belt.

What are the Benefits of Professional Addiction Treatment?

When learning to be more compassionate and taking the steps to stop beating yourself up, seeking out professional support and addiction treatment services can be crucial for your recovery.

There are many benefits to seeking professional addiction treatment. For starters, this can provide you with increased safety. Detoxing for drugs or alcohol can be dangerous, especially if it is done alone. Professional addiction treatment programs provide a safe and supportive environment where you can detox under the supervision of medical professionals.

Gaining Insights on Mental Health and Wellness

Improved mental health is another major benefit of seeking professional treatment. Addiction can often be a symptom of underlying mental health conditions, such as depression or anxiety. Many rehab programs can help you address these underlying conditions and improve your overall mental health and how you view yourself.

Professional rehabilitation services can also provide you with better coping skills. In many cases, recovering individuals view their substance abuse as a way of coping with difficult emotions or stressors. Rehab programs can teach you healthy coping skills so that you can manage your emotions and stressors without resorting to drugs or alcohol.

Another major benefit of professional treatment is a reduced risk of relapse. Relapse is a common challenge for people in recovery., and beating yourself up will only increase this risk. Professional treatment programs can help you develop relapse prevention strategies so that you can stay sober long-term.

Finally, those who participate in professional treatment programs often experience an Improved quality of life. Substance use disorders can have a negative impact on all areas of your life, including your relationships, work, and health. Rehab services can help you improve your quality of life by helping you to:

• Repair relationships.
• Develop healthy coping mechanisms.
• Get back to work.
• Improve your physical and mental health.

If you are struggling with addiction, there is no shame in seeking professional help. Professional addiction treatment can help you to get the support you need to overcome your substance abuse and reclaim your life.

Get Help and Stop Beating Yourself Up Now!

Beating yourself up for your addiction won’t make you stop. If you are struggling with substance abuse, then it’s time to get into the solution. The Rehabs Of Armerica team can help. We work with an extensive network of treatment facilities nationwide that offer comprehensive and effective care.

Our hotline is available 24/7 to answer all of your recovery questions and walk you through the treatment process, no matter the time or day. You can get the help that you need to heal and recover. Call us today!

Charles F.( Content Coordinator )

Charles F. has been an active part of the Florida recovery community for over 5 years. He began as a behavioral health technician at an addiction treatment facility in Ocala, Florida and has since begun training as a Licensed Addiction and Chemical Dependency counselor in Boca Raton. Charles’ passion involves the promotion of recovery and helping spread the hope of recovery to as many readers as possible!