She was just a few feet away crying out for me. Although she wasn’t but a few feet from me, it could have been miles.
I listened to her grandparents trying to soothe her and wipe away her tears. It hurt. However, I knew I was not capable of caring for her at that time. I carried her photograph in my backpack out there on the streets. In fact, my backpack held all the things I needed for survival: a bar of soap, my daughter’s photo, a toothbrush, and at least 100 syringes; I made sure I’d never run out.
My daughter is my angel and one true blessing. I love her more each and every day. I sometimes would rather stay home and play with her instead of going to work, but I leave the house. I do it for her.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for her. I’m saving for a vacation to Disneyland, and I plan to build up a big, fat college fund. I don’t want her to face financial struggles when she’s off at college. That’s made possible only through my drug recovery.
I want to be a better person, woman, and mother. Because of her.
I know that many people judge me and think of me as a piece of shit. What matters today is that I am finding my way out of addiction. I no longer choose to get high, I choose my daughter. I still believe that my reality is getting better every day because of her.
My journey towards a sober lifestyle has only just begun. Are you ready to start yours?
Anna M. joined Find Addiction Rehabs with extensive experience in the field of addiction treatment. As a former Nurse Practitioner in Miami, she found her passion for addiction treatment when a family member was lost to his disease. With each article and resource, she hopes to save other families from experiencing the anguish of a loved one’s passing due to drinking or drugs.
