A Behind the Scenes Look at the Daily Grind of AddictionTable of ContentsA Behind the Scenes Look at the Daily Grind of AddictionLife of an Addict – When I Woke UpLife of an Addict: The Plotting and SchemingThe Risk of Losing Jobs Did Not Matter At AllLife of an Addict: The Swamp MonsterThe Next Substance […]
Table of Contents
A day in the life of an addict would be a scary thing for anyone. People who don’t suffer from addiction are baffled by the behaviors of addicts and alcoholics, and frankly, I think that we baffle ourselves sometimes.
Before we got sober, we may not have realized just how sick and lost we had really become, and if you are anything like I used to be, it will take a little time of sobriety to realize just how dark a day in the life of an addict really was.
Keep reading to better understand the life of an addict, and how to get help if this sounds a little bit too familiar from your own life (or the life of someone you love).
When I would finally roll myself over in the morning, promptly around 11:30 or noon, my first thought would be how much I hated birds chirping. My next immediate thought would be, “how much money do I need to get a couple caps and maybe a couple rocks,” and “I wonder when my dude will wake up.”
I would lay in bed a few more minutes, until my stomach hurt so bad that I would run to the bathroom, and sit on the toilet for the next 30 minutes or so, trying to decide which end this excruciating pain would come out of. Then, I would go outside and smoke a cigarette and wait for my roommate to wake up, so I could ask him if he had anything left over from last night.
We would do whatever he had left, and it, of course, would never be enough to get high, but it was usually enough to stop my stomach from falling out of my butt, and we would plot.
The plotting went like this, “How much money do you have?” “Okay, so we only need this much” “Does anyone owe us money?” “No dude I CANNOT ask my mom again, she isn’t speaking to me right now” “Do we have anything we can pawn? No, we already pawned everything” “Shit. I wonder if homeboy will spot us again?” “Well I can try to beg at the gas station a little bit?” “Alright well let’s see if he will spot us for now and let us pay him back.”
Usually, he would spot us. That high would be good enough for a few hours, at which time we would go to work. Usually by this point, whatever I had done had already worn off, and I would be sick and sweating for the next few hours at work. Battling the internal dialogue between wanting to go home and needing the money to get high.
Luckily, my roommate worked shorter hours than I did, so he would come pick up my tip money in the middle of my shift. He would go re-up, and then bring me back something at work so I could finish the night. I would run outside, grab them, go in the bathroom and get high, and then go back to my tables. Then, at the end of the night, we would go pick up again, using all of the money I had made in tips that night. Then, we would go home, sit on the couch, and pass out. Repeat identically the next morning. This was my life as an Addict.
Frankly, that would be a good day. On bad days, our drug dealer would be dry, and everyone else we asked wanted money upfront. We would be sick for hours. Sweating, sick to our stomachs, writhing in pain. Not wanting to shower or eat or move.
One thing that was always a constant, was the change of myself as a person, before and after I would get high. For example, I was a swamp monster when I was sick. I was a filthy, cranky, nauseous, sweaty, anxious, depressed mess of a human being. I was angry and volatile, the ‘don’t even try to talk to me’ type of a person if I wasn’t high.
But then, miraculously, we would hear word that our dude was on the way, and suddenly, I would perk up, and I could talk again! It’s like my brain would start to function better just KNOWING that there was a tiny chance of hope that I would be getting high in the next few minutes, even if it was just one pill.
I would use anything I could get my hands on, whether it was heroin, cocaine, marijuana, you name it. I fell asleep and woke up thinking about my next hit. I didn’t care about the physical toll my drinking and drug abuse was taking on my body. The only thing that would matter to me was getting more drugs and drinking the day away. Even when it cost me my friends, my family members, my ability to hold a full-time job, and so much more, I kept on using. It was like I couldn’t stop.
To be honest, I consider myself lucky. I was blessed enough to be without much responsibility. I didn’t have children, I didn’t have any dependents, I had a pretty easy job that had short hours. I was able to actually HAVE a job until I could no longer work and had to start lowering my morals in order to get high. Many people face decisions in their addiction that they never thought would be an option. Theft, prostitution, and manipulation are common themes in many addicts’ lives.
Some people suffering from addiction have a much harder time asking for help because they have lives that they can’t leave. Kids, work, caring for their parents, etc. are often common responsibilities that hold many people back from getting treatment.
I put myself through this torture for years, like so many other suffering addicts and alcoholics, and to be totally transparent, writing all of that down really made me a little squirrelly. But it’s a good reminder of just how far gone I really was. I never even knew that what I was doing was not normal. I never considered that I was what other people consider a “drug addict.” All I knew was that I needed to get high to feel normal.
Like many other people with addictions, stopping my drug use was not a simple task. But after getting professional help, my doctors and treatment team helped me realize that all was not lost. They helped me understand that my addiction was a disease, and one that needed treatment and management for me to overcome.
Once I understood that my addiction was a disorder, my whole life changed. I decided it was time to get clean, and get the help I need to stay sober. Overcoming my addiction took work, but with the extensive support of licensed health care providers, counseling services, and my fellowship through Alcoholics Anonymous, I was able to do it.
Today, I am grateful for the pain I put myself through. I want to be clear that today, I am still a part-time waitress, and I still have roommates, but today I woke up as a different person. I wake up and I am grateful because I now live a life that is a million times better than what I had. I was saved, I was pulled from the wreckage of that life and given a second chance. It is definitely not “normal” but it is mine, and it is beautiful.
If you have come to the same conclusion as I did and no longer want to allow your addiction to run your life, recovery is possible. Whether you are addicted to drugs, alcohol, or multiple substances (like I was), help is available to stop using and get sober.
Whether you are considering residential treatment, counseling, or outpatient rehab, the Rehabs Of Armerica team can help you find a recovery program that is best suited to all of your care needs.
People addicted to drugs and alcohol may have started abusing these substances for several reasons. Those with mental health disorders or other medical conditions may have begun abusing substances in an attempt to self-medicate their symptoms.
In other cases, peer pressure, stressful environments, and otherwise difficult circumstances can all lead to substance abuse, as well. No matter what the cause, help is available to get you back on the right path and reclaim control over your life.
While there is no one-size-fits-all approach to the treatment process, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) states that a comprehensive approach to the recovery process is best for those looking to overcome their drug or alcohol abuse.
This may include medical detox, inpatient and outpatient rehab programs, behavioral therapies, medication-assisted treatment, and several other services. If you are unsure what treatment options will be best for you, the FAR team can answer all of your recovery questions and help you find out what services will be best for your successful rehabilitation.
If you have found yourself suffering from a drug or alcohol addiction, you are not alone! If you are ready to change your life and live free of addiction, then Rehabs Of Armerica can help.
We give you a jump start to recovery by providing options from among the top programs in the country that are accredited and matched to your needs. All calls are completely confidential, so please reach out and get options for yourself (or a loved one) today!
Charles F. has been an active part of the Florida recovery community for over 5 years. He began as a behavioral health technician at an addiction treatment facility in Ocala, Florida and has since begun training as a Licensed Addiction and Chemical Dependency counselor in Boca Raton. Charles’ passion involves the promotion of recovery and helping spread the hope of recovery to as many readers as possible!
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