No matter how long you have been in recovery, there’s one thing you have probably heard over and over again: Resentment is bad for you. Before recovery, you probably didn’t think much about them. You probably knew who and what made you angry, or what you did or didn’t like, but chances are you weren’t aware of the true extent of your unresolved anger. It’s common to be in denial, or to believe you have “moved on” but most times, people don’t really do the work involved in truly laying the past to rest, forgiving and working things out in a healthy way.
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How Does Resentment Develop?
There are numerous ways they take root inside you. They often start as anger, but not always. They come from hurt, both real and imagined. Some are the result of big situations, but often they are an accumulation of little things. Maybe you asked your partner to text you when they are on their lunch break. They agreed, but they never do it. You try to tell yourself it’s no big deal, but over time you find yourself becoming progressively irritated with your partner. Maybe one day you explode over something small, or you behave badly in another way. You can’t understand where your anger or your behavior suddenly came from, but if you dig a little, you will realize you have developed a resentment.
Unresolved issues don’t go away on their own. You may be holding anger and disappointment from childhood you aren’t even aware of. These are often directed at family members. Maybe your parents weren’t there for you. Maybe you feel like they favored one of your siblings. These may be things that you have pushed down so deep you don’t often think of them, or they may be things you have held on to that you feel like you can’t forgive.
Lack Of Forgiveness Kills Relationships
No matter the source of the problem or whether it’s a big thing or a collection of small things, unresolved anger can really take a toll on your relationships. Your friendship or marriage can die a slow death if one or both of you doesn’t address and forgive the problems.
Aside from relationships, holding on to anger will do a number on you personally. Resentments require energy in order to hold on to them. They suck the joy out of your life, and may cause you to act out, not just toward the person who is the subject of your bitterness, but others as well. If you haven’t consciously done any work around unresolved emotions, then there is a good chance you are harboring a multitude of them.
What Holding On To Resentment Does To The Mind
Do you feel bored, dissatisfied, easily irritated and impatient? These are all symptoms of underlying anger. It gets worse, though. You may find that you are constantly replaying events and situations involving the situation over and over again. You wake up and it’s the first thing you think of. It keeps you up at night. Something someone says or does triggers it and your day is ruined. The feelings are powerful, and when you are in this state, the person you are harboring bitterness and anger against has control over you. If that is an unpleasant thought, it’s time to do something about it.
Unresolved anger can eat away at your peace of mind, and can take a toll on your mental health. Depression can result from negative emotions, and so can anxiety.
What Unresolved Anger Does To The Body
While it’s easy to see how unaddressed anger can affect your mind, you may be surprised to know that they take a toll on you physically, as well.
Holding on to negative emotions has serious consequences. People underestimate this, but it’s true. Anger held in the body results in fatigue, insomnia, muscle aches and tension, stomach problems, blood pressure problems and more.
Working a program of recovery can help you clear out and let go of unresolved problems so they don’t run your life and ruin your health and peace of mind. Talk to others in recovery, and find out how they rid themselves of anger and bitterness.
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If you are ready to change your life and live free of addiction, then Find Addiction Rehabs can help. We refer satisfied clients and their families to inpatient and outpatient treatment services across the country. Don’t hesitate to reach out and find out more about the services we offer, and speak to one of our experienced, compassionate recovery representatives for a complete breakdown of treatment options for yourself or your loved one now!
