There’s a quote by Jim Rohn that says “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This is a powerful statement, and while the quote is not recovery related, it rings true.
You may be thinking to yourself that you are your own person, and you make your own choices, so this concept may not apply to you, but the reality is that when you hang out with sober people who are doing positive things with their lives, you are more likely to follow suit. A more familiar saying in the rooms of recovery is “stick with the winners.” If you truly want to change your life and be successful and happy, it pays to be aware of who you are spending your valuable time with.
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People Make A Difference in Recovery
If you are feeling doubtful that the company you keep has an effect on you, think about a time when you spent an afternoon or evening with someone who was very negative. Perhaps this person complained the whole time or tried to involve you in their drama. Perhaps they gossiped or criticized or judged. Have you ever spent time with someone who makes you feel drained or exhausted when you are done? The reality is that negativity is contagious. It affects the way you think and feel. You may find that when you are around these people you participate in their negative behavior. You think of all the things in your life that aren’t going well so that you have something to complain about, too. Or, perhaps you engage in their gossip or drama. After the fact, you may realize that you just wasted an entire afternoon in this behavior, time you could have spent doing something positive.
When Your Attempts At Recovery Are Thwarted
Have you ever decided to do something important, like start eating healthy or exercise? Or maybe you made a decision to get sober. You were excited about your recovery and made a plan for making it happen. Anytime you are trying to do something that improves your life, you should think carefully about who you want to surround yourself with. Maybe you have already experienced the influence of “thwarters.” Maybe a friend stopped by and brought you drugs or alcohol after you told them you wanted to stop using. Or maybe someone started eating junk food in front of you and pretty soon you were eating it too. Sometimes, it even seems like the people you are around are doing these things on purpose!
Sometimes they are, sometimes they aren’t. People who are close to you, like good friends, family and romantic partners don’t always embrace change. Seeing you take steps to improve your life by getting sober may feel threatening to them. In this case, they may indeed try to sabotage your efforts. Unless they want to do the same thing, they aren’t going to be good sources of support for you.
You Can’t Control What Others Do
Don’t make the mistake of thinking that you can just get everyone on board with you. If the people you spend time with are not ready to get healthy mentally or physically, you have no control over that. The only person you have control over is you. Unfortunately, it’s hard to stick with new habits when you are surrounded by people who aren’t practicing those things themselves.
What’s The Solution for Your Recovery
If the people you spend the most time with are not moving forward and doing positive things with their lives, aren’t supporting you or are downright sabotaging your recovery, it’s going to be a lot harder for you to do what needs to be done. You can’t control or change these people, it will only waste your time and energy. The solution is to gravitate toward people who are doing the things you want to be doing.
These are the people who make you feel good and energized when you spend time with them. They don’t tear you down, they build you up. Sure, they may have an off day, but overall, they spend more time talking about what’s going right in their lives than what is going wrong. They don’t waste a bunch of time with idle gossip and they are sober and actively working to stay that way.
What Happens When You Stick With The Winners
Well, you will notice a change. A change in your energy levels, your confidence and how you spend your time. You aren’t wasting time trying to steer people in your direction because you are walking with people who are on the same path. And when you are walking the path with people who support you, you’ll find the journey to be much easier and more pleasant.
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Getting Help For Addiction Recovery
If you want to get sober, but find you can’t do it where you are at, it’s time to surround yourself with recovery. At FindAddictionRehabs.com, we offer a comprehensive treatment program that helps you heal from and overcome addiction while nurturing your body, mind, and spirit. You’ll be supported by kind, experienced staff, therapists, and counselors, and have the opportunity to develop relationships with peers who are on the same path as you. You don’t have to do it on your own. Call 1-877-959-7271 to learn more about what FindAddictionRehabs.com can do for you.