Denial is a natural thought process for each and every person on the planet. In the mind of alcoholic/addict, however, our denial of addiction can often be a large factor in our substance abuse as it aids in the insanity of our disease. It manifests itself in a variety of ways for a variety of people. The concept roots from within each person’s perception, and is shaped by their thoughts, dreams, hopes, and desires.
Denial, it ain’t just a river in Africa!!
No one wants to believe that they are weak or have flaws; it is only human nature to want to be strong, to fit in, or to even be better than our peers. This is part of evolution. Survival of the fittest. We take comfort in our own mind, we enjoy having our ego stroked, and along with it, our pride. When something happens that threatens our ideal of ourselves, we lash out or we try to ignore it. For people in our situations who have lived the life of an alcoholic or an addict, we often don’t like to admit that we are in that class.
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Why is Denial of Addiction so Detrimental
Listen, most of us were probably once in the belief that we didn’t really have a problem. Our denial of addiction allowed us to think it wasn’t very serious or we weren’t as bad as someone else we knew. We could rationalize our use, and justify why we did it. Therefore, we could feel okay with the fact that we absolutely had to use to feel normal. We had to get out of ourselves in order to just be okay in the present moment. If this sounds familiar, you might be a real alcoholic (Hooray!).
The Denial that we have held onto for years is part of the insanity of addiction. It directs precisely to how the mind of an alcoholic works. We do the same thing, over and over, expecting different results. This is why many addicts continue to believe that they can somehow, someday, control their using and other addictive behaviors. Also, this is why they usually fail. We deny the fact that we are not in control, and we deny the fact that we might need help. Our disease centers in the mind, telling us that we don’t actually have a problem. We minimize our using or we choose to overlook the things we have done, the people we have hurt, and the lies we have told in the past.
When We Finally Admit Defeat
The first step in recovery is admitting we have a problem, and that our lives have become unmanageable. Leading up to this, most of us will probably have experienced a pretty life changing event in which we felt utterly and completely hopeless. We, of the fellowship call, this our bottom. For me, this was the moment that I finally realized that I could no longer deny the fact that I was beyond the help of human help. I had no other options. I could no longer lie to myself. I was broken, I needed help. After this, after I was unable to deny my addiction, I finally reached my hand out for treatment.
Over the next year, my addict mind fooled me several times into believing a lie. I would get a little sober time and I would start to feel better. My addiction started to deny that I was really in that class. I would fall off of my program and relapse shortly after. It wasn’t until the fifth time this happened that I started to see the insanity that I had fallen victim to.
Although I experienced a whole lot of shame and guilt over those relapses, I gained a lot of knowledge into how easily my mind tricks me into thinking that I can one day be a normal drinker. I now know that no matter what, I will never ever be normal and that my mind cannot be trusted. This opened me up to a whole new life.
When I realized that denial was no longer an option, I dove headfirst into my program. I started working intensively with a sponsor, I started seeking out a Higher Power of my own, and I practiced being brutally honest with where my head was at. This opened the door to a life beyond my wildest dreams. I no longer have to wonder if what I am thinking is real or not. I have a sponsor and a group of sober supports who, when I tell them what is on my mind, can tell me if I am being irrational or if my mind is on the right track. In others words, I am slowly learning when and where I allow my addict mind to run wild, and how to stop it.
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Freedom From Addiction
If you have found yourself suffering in addiction, you are not alone! If you are ready to change your life and live free of addiction, then FindAddictionRehabs.com can help. We give you the jump start to recovery as well as teach relapse prevention including learning healthy outlets in sobriety . Our program is unique in that it doesn’t just treat the addiction, it treats the whole person. For more information on our program, call 1-877-959-7271 today.